Julie, this is so deeply felt and beautifully expressed. As you know, I just turned 51, and reading your words brought tears to my eyes. I wouldn’t return to a younger age for anything, and yet I hold such gratitude for every moment of that first half-century. Each one stretched me, softened me, shaped me. Aging, for me too, feels less like a decline and more like an unfolding. A return to a power that was always ours, but we had to first have enough moments under our feet to reach it. I feel vast in a way I couldn’t have imagined in my twenties or thirties, and that vastness is something I want to claim, not conceal. Thank you for writing this with such clarity, reverence, and power. It’s a gift to us all! 💖💖
Love this Jenna! And Happy Birthday again. Those decade demarcations are powerful thresholds in life. Not just for the first year, but for the second one that you just entered and the ones following too. Seems as each decade provides specific challenges and gifts. The question becomes do we meet the challenges with trust and open the gifts with curiosity. I can see you most definitely do! Now in my 60's its about my body thinning along with the thinning of the veil, making the threshold more accessible. The challenge and the gift! 💜
I love this piece so much Julie, I feel such a kindred connection with the rite of passage that you speak about. This year especially as I approach 50, things have changed so much for me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I feel myself moving into a different role and on some levels starting my life over. With that inner knowing, with that wisdom. Your gentle insights provide a thoughtful and generous companion to what comes next. xx
Thanks so much Louise! Ahh 50, that is such a turning point, a time of transition. Beautiful!!! I'm so glad to see and hear you are giving yourself to this. 💜💜💜
I have to say this piece is possibly the most beautiful l I have ever read about aging. I even reveled in the comments section. At 50, I am an aspiring crone, still growing through the wounded maiden. Time to let that shit go! I love my age, I love the power I feel, I love the unfolding. Thank you for sharing your writing.
Thanks, Simla! I really appreciate your words. And yes, the wounded maiden, I relate to that. She still travels with me, but her voice is not so loud. I believe this time of the crone has been her healing. Along with the Sacred NO!
I also see this time in our world as the time for the older women, the crone, the elder. For aging women are less likely to go invisible today. And more likely to speak their truth out loud - and why I write here on substack. 💜💜💜
Julie, I love that you've shined a light on some of the ways in which Western Culture has abandoned (and pathologized) aging bodies. The malignancy of the culturally conditioned response to aging is profound, and I feel so heartened after reading all your responses to the mythology of how aging and mortality are to be feared, fought, avoided and hidden. It's a little overwhelming to take in the magnitude of the harm that has come from the fragmentation of our kinship systems. I think one of the reasons we view aging and death with such terror is because what we see so often is the hellscape of people deteriorating in what amounts to carceral-style nursing homes. I grieve this - it's the way my grandmother and my parents both spent the last five years of their lives. Hearing about the way your family is breaking that cycle and reclaiming loving community together is a balm. Thank you for celebrating the last leg of the journey with us here! 💜✨🕊️
Thanks Keith for seeing this so clearly. I too believe the biggest issue is fear of death. In a culture built on productivity, if you are no longer producing then you are considered a drain. In a culture built on outer appearances, if you don't match the part, than your defective. In a culture built on youth, then old age needs to be hidden. I'm reminded of the story - true or not I find it fascinating - the council of the grandmothers/elders. When our nation was formed, the structure of it was based on what was learned from the Indigenous culture that lived here. But there were four parts, not just the three that ended up being adopted. The fourth was the council of the elders/grandmothers. What would our nation have been like if that fourth section was honored, revered and seen as an important piece. We are culture with so much to unlearn...
My friend restacked this post and I wanted to leave the same comment here that I left on her restack because this really moved me -- thank you:
I love this. The fact that the Crone has been pushed aside in mainstream society is no accident at all— it’s hard to imagine half the shit that flies in todays “half a step from hell” world would be allowed were the women in the Crone phase amplified / heard. I had a woman in my life once who embodied the most beautiful Crone energy. The entire community came to her for guidance on a regular basis, myself included.
She passed away a few years ago but I don’t feel like she ever really died. To this day, she provided the most authentic and healing shared spiritual and sacred space I’ve ever known. I feel so fortunate to have experienced it, because many do not get that chance… and that’s because of The Crone.
Reading this really moved me. It seems as a woman… we get stuck in perpetual wounded maiden mode… not really sure what the hell the mother phase is… and the wisdom and guidance we desperately need from the crone in us, if we live long enough, often gets lost. We need mentors and we need elders. Society is hugely fucked without them.
YES, Tesstamona to everything you shared here. Agree, we as women are stuck in the wounded maiden stage. When I became a mother, I still was carrying this baggage. And I started teaching my daughter from this place. No wonder it gets perpetuated. Yet I did shift, which I am thankful for, because my daughter benefited from it too. Today she is an adult and we are the closest of friends! Which I treasure.
When women can truly meet themselves as well as all the fuckery in the world, the deep feminine wisdom naturally arises. It's innate, ancient, born from keening and magic. A mystery that weaves the many layers together, creating a lived wisdom. The crone is this. Not the one who is just old and waiting to die, But one who elders. Who is wisdom embodied and disseminates it - like your Crone friend. I would have loved to have met her!
Thank you for sharing that -- what a gift to be close with your daughter like that. Congratulations to you for finding your way through the wounded maiden phase. I'd be lying if I said I had found a way out yet -- but I am still trying. ❤️ and yes, you would have loved her very much! She lives on in the ethers. this piece made me truly happy, thank you. The Oracles and the Pythias have guided humanity for millennia -- let us remember 🙏
This is absolutely beautiful, Jules!! There is familiarity in aging.... Just what I needed to hear and now keep learning to embrace!! Love and much gratitude, Mary
Bravo Julie, I'm restacking this because you put your wise finger right on the true experience and nature of aging as a female as I know it. And I am grateful that I have younger friends that regard me as a wise woman and want to spend time with me. I have seen my creativity produced volumes of poems and several books. I would not have been able to write with the same perspective when I was younger. I call them my 'estrogen years.' 😅 And I have found ways to encourage my health and strength lasts as the time goes on.
I grew up in a large Victorian home with multigenerations. When I look back I see it as 'the best of times.' Yes, having your own bathroom is a plus, but having others there to share the chores, the news, the love, and especially for the pregnancy and time after birth is a bigger gift. We have lost so much in the 'nuclear family.'
Thank you for revealing the 'ageless flame and fierce grace' we are experiencing now. 💖
Yes, I agree we have lost so much with the 'nuclear family.' Oh and the resources to keep up with all that... all the square boxes, the appliances, the energy that runs in each house, etc. Then the waste on top of that! The biggest loss though, is of collaboration, community and intergenerational relating. And why I love that my immediate family. all of us living together. And that my husbands family all live within driving distance, many in the same town.
Yes and the aging of women needs to be seen, acknowledged and respected. This means letting the beauty of our aging emerge... like you are doing, Shellie! I love it. And I also agree with you about finding ways to encourage our health. For me I do this herbally, with exercise, having a garden, being in nature... without having prescriptions on top of prescriptions.
And thanks for sharing yourself - and this post! 💜💜💜
Julie, this is so deeply felt and beautifully expressed. As you know, I just turned 51, and reading your words brought tears to my eyes. I wouldn’t return to a younger age for anything, and yet I hold such gratitude for every moment of that first half-century. Each one stretched me, softened me, shaped me. Aging, for me too, feels less like a decline and more like an unfolding. A return to a power that was always ours, but we had to first have enough moments under our feet to reach it. I feel vast in a way I couldn’t have imagined in my twenties or thirties, and that vastness is something I want to claim, not conceal. Thank you for writing this with such clarity, reverence, and power. It’s a gift to us all! 💖💖
Love this Jenna! And Happy Birthday again. Those decade demarcations are powerful thresholds in life. Not just for the first year, but for the second one that you just entered and the ones following too. Seems as each decade provides specific challenges and gifts. The question becomes do we meet the challenges with trust and open the gifts with curiosity. I can see you most definitely do! Now in my 60's its about my body thinning along with the thinning of the veil, making the threshold more accessible. The challenge and the gift! 💜
Great piece. The section on death was perfectly articulated.
Thanks so much - appreciate that! 💜
I love this piece so much Julie, I feel such a kindred connection with the rite of passage that you speak about. This year especially as I approach 50, things have changed so much for me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I feel myself moving into a different role and on some levels starting my life over. With that inner knowing, with that wisdom. Your gentle insights provide a thoughtful and generous companion to what comes next. xx
Thanks so much Louise! Ahh 50, that is such a turning point, a time of transition. Beautiful!!! I'm so glad to see and hear you are giving yourself to this. 💜💜💜
I have to say this piece is possibly the most beautiful l I have ever read about aging. I even reveled in the comments section. At 50, I am an aspiring crone, still growing through the wounded maiden. Time to let that shit go! I love my age, I love the power I feel, I love the unfolding. Thank you for sharing your writing.
Thanks, Simla! I really appreciate your words. And yes, the wounded maiden, I relate to that. She still travels with me, but her voice is not so loud. I believe this time of the crone has been her healing. Along with the Sacred NO!
I also see this time in our world as the time for the older women, the crone, the elder. For aging women are less likely to go invisible today. And more likely to speak their truth out loud - and why I write here on substack. 💜💜💜
Julie, I love that you've shined a light on some of the ways in which Western Culture has abandoned (and pathologized) aging bodies. The malignancy of the culturally conditioned response to aging is profound, and I feel so heartened after reading all your responses to the mythology of how aging and mortality are to be feared, fought, avoided and hidden. It's a little overwhelming to take in the magnitude of the harm that has come from the fragmentation of our kinship systems. I think one of the reasons we view aging and death with such terror is because what we see so often is the hellscape of people deteriorating in what amounts to carceral-style nursing homes. I grieve this - it's the way my grandmother and my parents both spent the last five years of their lives. Hearing about the way your family is breaking that cycle and reclaiming loving community together is a balm. Thank you for celebrating the last leg of the journey with us here! 💜✨🕊️
Thanks Keith for seeing this so clearly. I too believe the biggest issue is fear of death. In a culture built on productivity, if you are no longer producing then you are considered a drain. In a culture built on outer appearances, if you don't match the part, than your defective. In a culture built on youth, then old age needs to be hidden. I'm reminded of the story - true or not I find it fascinating - the council of the grandmothers/elders. When our nation was formed, the structure of it was based on what was learned from the Indigenous culture that lived here. But there were four parts, not just the three that ended up being adopted. The fourth was the council of the elders/grandmothers. What would our nation have been like if that fourth section was honored, revered and seen as an important piece. We are culture with so much to unlearn...
I love this perspective and need more of this in my life. Thank you.
Your welcome Diana, thanks for reading. 💜
This is so beautifully written. It’s poetic and speaks to a deeply known truth. Thank you for sharing this wisdom. ✨
Thank Trudi for reading and your sweet words - I appreciate that! 💜
You’re welcome, Julie ✨
My friend restacked this post and I wanted to leave the same comment here that I left on her restack because this really moved me -- thank you:
I love this. The fact that the Crone has been pushed aside in mainstream society is no accident at all— it’s hard to imagine half the shit that flies in todays “half a step from hell” world would be allowed were the women in the Crone phase amplified / heard. I had a woman in my life once who embodied the most beautiful Crone energy. The entire community came to her for guidance on a regular basis, myself included.
She passed away a few years ago but I don’t feel like she ever really died. To this day, she provided the most authentic and healing shared spiritual and sacred space I’ve ever known. I feel so fortunate to have experienced it, because many do not get that chance… and that’s because of The Crone.
Reading this really moved me. It seems as a woman… we get stuck in perpetual wounded maiden mode… not really sure what the hell the mother phase is… and the wisdom and guidance we desperately need from the crone in us, if we live long enough, often gets lost. We need mentors and we need elders. Society is hugely fucked without them.
YES, Tesstamona to everything you shared here. Agree, we as women are stuck in the wounded maiden stage. When I became a mother, I still was carrying this baggage. And I started teaching my daughter from this place. No wonder it gets perpetuated. Yet I did shift, which I am thankful for, because my daughter benefited from it too. Today she is an adult and we are the closest of friends! Which I treasure.
When women can truly meet themselves as well as all the fuckery in the world, the deep feminine wisdom naturally arises. It's innate, ancient, born from keening and magic. A mystery that weaves the many layers together, creating a lived wisdom. The crone is this. Not the one who is just old and waiting to die, But one who elders. Who is wisdom embodied and disseminates it - like your Crone friend. I would have loved to have met her!
Thank you for sharing that -- what a gift to be close with your daughter like that. Congratulations to you for finding your way through the wounded maiden phase. I'd be lying if I said I had found a way out yet -- but I am still trying. ❤️ and yes, you would have loved her very much! She lives on in the ethers. this piece made me truly happy, thank you. The Oracles and the Pythias have guided humanity for millennia -- let us remember 🙏
This is absolutely beautiful, Jules!! There is familiarity in aging.... Just what I needed to hear and now keep learning to embrace!! Love and much gratitude, Mary
Hey Mary! Oh it's so wonderful to see you here! And I appreciate that this is what you needed to hear - me too actually! 💜💜💜
I so appreciate your wisdom on aging. I turned 75 this year & I now feel like an elder! Embracing this passage into elderhood with openness & wonder🌈
🧚🏼♀️🙏🧚🏼♀️
Thanks so much Beverly! I love that you are embracing "elder". Such a powerful and beautiful place of being! 💜💜💜
Bravo Julie, I'm restacking this because you put your wise finger right on the true experience and nature of aging as a female as I know it. And I am grateful that I have younger friends that regard me as a wise woman and want to spend time with me. I have seen my creativity produced volumes of poems and several books. I would not have been able to write with the same perspective when I was younger. I call them my 'estrogen years.' 😅 And I have found ways to encourage my health and strength lasts as the time goes on.
I grew up in a large Victorian home with multigenerations. When I look back I see it as 'the best of times.' Yes, having your own bathroom is a plus, but having others there to share the chores, the news, the love, and especially for the pregnancy and time after birth is a bigger gift. We have lost so much in the 'nuclear family.'
Thank you for revealing the 'ageless flame and fierce grace' we are experiencing now. 💖
Yes, I agree we have lost so much with the 'nuclear family.' Oh and the resources to keep up with all that... all the square boxes, the appliances, the energy that runs in each house, etc. Then the waste on top of that! The biggest loss though, is of collaboration, community and intergenerational relating. And why I love that my immediate family. all of us living together. And that my husbands family all live within driving distance, many in the same town.
Yes and the aging of women needs to be seen, acknowledged and respected. This means letting the beauty of our aging emerge... like you are doing, Shellie! I love it. And I also agree with you about finding ways to encourage our health. For me I do this herbally, with exercise, having a garden, being in nature... without having prescriptions on top of prescriptions.
And thanks for sharing yourself - and this post! 💜💜💜