The Power of Pausing
Almost too simple and undefined yet so tangible and palpable.
Welcome to this edition of Liminal Walker Musings!
I am so glad you are here! Thank you for reading and supporting my writing, you are deeply appreciated.
Dear ones,
If you are a new subscriber, a special WELCOME! After my last post on Brokenness I needed to take a pause, not from writing but to create space to integrate. Welcoming in the breath, sitting by a cozy fire and drinking a cup of tea. I invite you to do the same, and while you are at it wrap yourself in a warm blanket and join me in today’s exploration of pausing. Love to all!
Pausing as Space
… Breathing in… breathing out. Settling in… Finding a seat within the body… Humbly being present…Allowing the sensitive nature some width and depth as a comfortable place to land…. Letting the nervous system rest…
Pausing is taking a step back. As I write, it’s the day of the New Moon. Yule, the winter solstice is right around the corner. Here in the Northern Hemisphere the nature is slowing down. How powerful it is to be received into that.
All around I see the dark, dying, frosty movements of winter. Nature’s wondrous artistry is ebbing while her force of dissolution is forefront. Life is quieting, withdrawing inward. Where I live the trees are still releasing their leaves. All these glorious colors leaving multi-hued blankets on the ground. With our frequent rains turning them to compost right before my eyes. The time of hibernation and repose is here.
Deep within I feel this calling…to be with the languishing. To be quiet and hermitize. I admit, alongside this invitation there is also a voice that reminds me of the work that needs doing, the chores that need attending to and the social expectations that come along with this holiday.
And I am finding my way in this. Not as a linear path through it, but by honoring this moment and what is here. Sensing into what action needs to be taken while also paying attention to how I am feeling. Honoring both, giving myself space, not leaving just because there is work to take care of. Resting on the threshold of being and doing, inner and outer, and ebb and flow. The liminal enticing me to live what I talk and write about.
Pausing as Replenishment
Breathing in life's gracious intermission, streams of air gently swirl in and around me. Sweet winds tenderly kiss my face acknowledging what has come to a close. Soaking in a tub of warm herbal waters, savoring the depths of this sacred moment. Tears trickle down as gentle briny caresses grieving over what is gone and cannot be changed. Rooting deeply within the soils of this body, burrowing and entering into the underworld. Welcoming in this cherished hibernation an interlude to replenish lost reserves. Stoking the fires of passionate remembering, honoring what has gone by and visions to come. Embers rekindled spark the heart into fresh flames of enthusiasm for this precious life.
Pausing as Integration
I am being summoned to be my own doula. I invite you all to do the same.
For me it is dropping into the heart. Heeding the call to come home to self-care, self-love. Ingenuously holding space for myself to breathe. A natural coherence with the rhythm of the heart, with the body, with life. Taking time to listen deeply to what each of my five senses are noticing. Letting them tell me the simple truth of this current moment. Not trying to solve or fix anything. Nor making anything happen.
Remembering… That I am both a microcosm and part of a macrocosm that is life. My heart, part of this collective love is also the immanent heart of my body. This incarnation, a uniqueness that will never be repeated. A sacred call to authentically be with all of who and what I am. Here for myself as love. Extending compassion to my body, psyche, and nervous system. My heart as refuge, where forgiveness washes the beliefs of unworthiness clean.
Entering my heart and loving myself doesn’t necessarily happen just because I write it here or have an intention. Sometimes it is dam outright challenging, especially if my focus feels scattered. Where I am agitated, reaching outside of myself for answers. And love summons me to be with this too. Love can be fierce in this way. Can I speak the truth to myself about how I am feeling and what is transpiring, even when I feel conflicted.
Fear and pain are teachers too. Returning home to unpretentiously being human. Love as alchemy. The capacity to bring together all aspects of myself even the imperfect broken pieces. Love as liminal. The glue that allows paradoxes to exist side by side. Grief and joy, pleasure and pain, desire and apathy. Letting love find me in all the expressions of life.
Remembering it is not about perfection or results. It is being with what is needed in this moment. Not the prior moment, or the upcoming one. But This! This…Sacred…Moment!
Pausing as Remembrance…the Feral Heart
deep longing… devotional yearning…. desire to simply inhabit life… as this sacred body… inside my own heart... living wholly and profusely… not identifying as a character written in a book long forgotten... not believing thoughts that humiliate and shame... but tenderly and carefully unlocking the shackles... encumbrances that stifle true utterances of love and creativity... easefully landing on the ground of the underworld… touching the untamed feral wonders... sacred mysteries of the ancient oracles... a wisdom so innate… a love so embodied... an ancestral line so strong… I call to this immense savage wilderness… ... it calls back to me…ever…so…sweetly.
Pausing as Meditation
Questions for you…
Do you feel coherence with your heart?
What are your senses trying to tell you right now?
What is it like to simply be, without trying to make anything happen?
Would love to know your thoughts and feelings. Let’s have a conversation…
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Julie, this exploration of Pause is beautiful! The space between breaths, between heartbeats. When I superimpose the torus on it (which I do on everything these days), the pause is the moment between inner and outer, between past and future, between known and unknown. It holds both as it holds us. I love this so much! Thank you! And thank you for the wonderful meditation. I will be returning to that one again. 🤗💖
Thank you Julie for this post...While you are going into Winter, we are going into Summer, and yet, due to the heat, I want to go "Wintering"...I wish to go within. There is a RESTING time in this season, as the animal body within me wishes to stay cool, stay out of the heat...Ahhh, there is a resting time in every season, isn't there?!
I also really enjoyed listening to your meditation, and how you kept repeating the word "resting" and how that kept reminding me to a) be PRESENT b) to know that even when the Summer Sun invites one to be "out there" (as in the opposite to Winter) it is important to honour the need to REST in that time of year too.